Steady…

So it’s back to pecking away one-fingered on my mobile phone. You can expect some possibly embarrassing slip-ups until I get back into practice. I’ll start therefore with something simple – a lovely encounter on my way here today. I’m at the Youth Hostel in Haworth (watch out for a brickbat in a later post!) and travelled here via Leeds and Keighley. The lovely encounter was with the smiling lady at the ticket counter at Leeds station.

John: “A single to Keighley, please.”
Lady: “That’ll be 4 pounds 10, love.”
John: “It’s great to be back in the north of England, to hear that ‘love’.”
Lady, smiling even more broadly: “Yes, I’m not supposed to say it, but it just slipped out!”

Political correctness put firmly in its place. A very good omen!

Ready…

Everything (I think) has been prepared. Everything (I think) has been got. Everything (I think) has been packed. Tomorrow we leave for England. A night in Dover; then lunch with Keith on Friday; then up to London to stay with John and Mellissa. Next Monday I’m booked to travel to Haworth. On Tuesday it all starts.

Apprehensive? Yes! But I’ll just have to see how it goes. (Remember ‘Philosophy 101’!)

Many of you have sent best wishes and messages of support. Thank you so much!

Progress, on three fronts

Firstly, I’ve got most of the organisation finished and the kit tested. There are a few things still to do, but these should all be done by the time Flicka and I head off to England next Thursday. That’s our wedding anniversary too!

Secondly – very importantly – I’ve been managing to keep training. I’m not going to be able to do all of the stages of the Westweg that I’d hoped to do; that’s because of some really poor weather in the Black Forest in the past couple of weeks. I nevertheless did get to finish one interesting stage there – the 22 km from Titisee to Kalte Herberge. The inn in Kalte Herberge is the Gasthaus zur Krone, established in 1480, with nowadays Kaffee und Kuchen for the tired walker and a convenient bus stop outside. But what on earth was that inn like in 1480? Hint: try translating Kalte Herberge.

I’ve also managed a couple of days out on the Kaiserstuhl, each of about 17 kilometres. Today was one of these, from Eichstetten to the station at Burkheim-Bischoffingen. (“Now he’ll go into David Attenborough mode!”) There were deer that let me get close, there was a 30-cm long western green lizard that didn’t seem to bother either (http://bestiarium.kryptozoologie.net/artikel/bei-den-smaragdeidechsen-am-kaiserstuhl/), and of course there were the usual suspects aloft – buzzards, kestrels, crows, blackbirds, starlings, sparrows, finches, magpies, jays, etc. Marvel of marvels, there was also a pair of bee-eaters in the vineyards above Eichstetten. These are our summer visitors, so summer is now officially here.

Thirdly, there’s been marked progress with Traveline Scotland. I contacted them about their website time problem, and at the same time put a post about it (‘Traveline Scotland: foreign walkers beware!’) on a Walkhighlands forum (http://www.walkhighlands.co.uk/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=62814&st=0&sk=t&sd=a). This resulted in hundreds of views, several useful replies, and an admission from Traveline Scotland (very politely and helpfully phrased – thank you Hilary!): ‘You are correct that there is an issue with our new journey planner in that it shows local times depending on where you access it. We are aware of this problem and are working on a fix which we hope to have in place as soon as possible. We are obviously aware that this is not helpful to customers planning journeys from abroad.’

It seems that Traveline Scotland might be needing a new website developer. Send your c.v. to …

Introducing Mickey MacMouse, a.k.a. Traveline Scotland

We are so proud of ourselves, aren’t we?

Last year I was really impressed with Traveline Scotland. An easy-to-use website (http://www.travelinescotland.com/) that gave me all the bus and train time information I needed.

What a difference a year makes!

This year I need to use buses and trains at several places in Scotland, each time to get to or from accommodation. Naturally I went first to the ‘Journey Planner’ on the Traveline Scotland site. ‘Click, click, click’ and there again was all the information I wanted. Thank you, Traveline Scotland!

Fortunately I’m horribly obsessive, so I decided also to download the individual timetables directly from the various bus and train operators. I then immediately noticed the pervading scent of Rattus rattus (Linnaeus, 1758)! Check out these five screenshots, all taken from the Traveline Scotland ‘Journey Planner’. They’re for different routes, for different days of the week, and for different operators.

Spot the deliberate mistakes!

Notice what’s wrong? Of course you didn’t, so let me show you. Clockwise, from top-left: (a) the 34X Stagecoach bus shown as leaving Tomatin at 1741 in fact leaves at 1641; (b) the 300 Scotbus bus shown as leaving Tomatin at 1733 in fact leaves at 1633; (c) the Scotrail train shown as leaving Forsinard at 1812 in fact leaves at 1712; (d) the Scotrail train shown as leaving Lairg at 2042 in fact leaves at 1942; (e) the C60 Kingshouse Travel bus shown as leaving Kingshouse at 1821 in fact leaves at 1721.

Clearly there is a conspiracy to ensure that wherever I am in Scotland I will always miss my bus or train – and always by exactly 1 hour!

So what’s the explanation? I can see three possibilities. The first is that Traveline Scotland is already secretly operating on Central European Time. (Nicola has assured us that Scotland is far less Brexit-likely than the rest of the UK, so that would fit!) The second is that each of the perhaps 27 million timetable entries in the Traveline Scotland database is wrong by exactly 1 hour. (Well, anyone can make a mistake!) The third – perhaps the most likely – is that the times given by Traveline Scotland are not local Scottish times. Instead they are the corresponding local times in whatever place the website enquirer comes from. Thus I get given Scottish time plus 1 hour (because I’m accessing the website from southwestern Germany); Amir in Kerman gets given Scottish time plus 3.5 hours; and Peter in Riverside gets Scottish time minus eight hours. So I’ll miss my buses and trains by 1 hour, Amir will miss his by 3.5 hours, and Peter will just have to sit round and wait patiently for 8 hours for his. Thank you again, Traveline Scotland!

A brickbat would seem to be in order.

That long-promised schedule…

I’ve just put up what I do indeed hope will be the final ‘tentative’ schedule for LEJOG Part 2. It’s on one of the side pages.

There you’ll also find another piece of deep and meaningful philosophy. Careful, though, because when you read the name ‘Bruce’ in the context of philosophy you mustn’t automatically think of the University of Woolloomooloo  (https://www.dropbox.com/s/srcwnuw5dp8wguj/Bruces%20Sketch%20-%20Monty%20Python%27s%20Flying%20Circus%20-%20YouTube_360p.mp4?dl=0)! This Bruce was somebody else.